Miraculous: Tales of Clumsy Girl and Pretty Boy
by Otoshigo
Summary: A What-If Plot Bunny. When Adrien falls, he falls hard. Only this time, he's head-over-heels for Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Without the mask, he's an awkward mess, and Mari only has eyes for someone else. [Marichat turned on its head]
1. Act 1

**A/N:** A somewhat incomplete story. This is more like a story setup, but unfortunately, an actual plot has yet to come to mind.

 **Part 1**

~o~

"Hey! What are you doing!"

Adrien looked up from the gum on the bench, ready to defend himself from whoever spoke. Honestly, he didn't think that this was the way he was going to spend the first _ten minutes_ of his real school life. Chloe was right that he did need to learn a thing or two about school culture (but probably not in the way that she meant).

A pig-tailed girl with raven-blue hair stood over him, her sharp bluebell Eurasian eyes narrowed into a glare, set in an incredibly cute face. There was a fire in her like nothing he'd ever seen. (Except in one 'super' special case, who as far as he was concerned was still in the wind.) This girl, though, was right in front of him, glaring at him, hands on her hips as she waited expectantly for an answer.

Something rather... _peculiar_ happened.

It was as though his heart had caught in his throat, making it impossible to speak. His cheeks burned as though he had a fever. His stomach erupted into butterflies, as though a swarm of akuma had been unleashed inside him. He teetered from his crouched position, the perfect strike from cupid's bow strong enough to throw him off balance. "Uhhhhh..." he said stupidly.

Before anyone could get a word in, cackling laughter erupted from behind them and he looked up to see Chloe and her friend pointing and laughing. The blood drained from his face. Oh no.

The Eurasian girl huffed, pushing him aside to assess the damage. "Okay, I get it. Very funny. Good job, you three."

"N-n-no, I wasn't-" Adrien stammered. Wait. What? He never stammered. Why was he stammering?

Her bluebell eyes snapped to him. "You're friends with Chloe, right?"

"W-well, y-yes, but-" However, she already turned her back to him, as if that single fact was the whole measure of him. Defeated, but mostly confused, Adrien returned to his seat next to his new classmate.

"Now do you see what I mean about respect?" Chloe whispered behind him, sounding a little too much like a devil on his shoulder. An unpleasant feeling settled in his stomach and he did his best to ignore it and _her._ He could only hope, as always, that she would see the error of her ways.

His classmate with the headphones raised an eyebrow as he regarded Adrien. "Why didn't you tell her that Chloe did it?"

"I, um," Adrien flushed. He hadn't exactly been planning on throwing Chloe under the bus anyway, but that wasn't really why the cat caught his tongue. ...And for some reason, some bus throwing was sounding really appealing at the moment. "I don't know," he confessed, "my mouth wasn't working."

His classmate looked him up and down, before his mouth curled into a sly grin. "Sounds like someone may have a crush~"

"A... crush?" Adrien echoed, blinking. Sure, he knew intellectually what a crush was. He'd seen it in enough anime to get the basic mechanics. ...He just never knew what it felt like. It was giddy and terrifying and _wonderful._ "A-are you sure?" he asked uncertainly.

"Sure am. I've seen enough people crush over Marinette to know what it looks like. What, you never had a crush before?" Headphones teased.

"W-well, no," Adrien replied, his eyes drawing towards the pig-tailed girl on his right of their own accord. Marinette was her name, was it? How _cute._ It fit her perfectly. "To be honest, I don't deal with people my age much. I've never been to a real school before. In fact, Chloe's my only friend. Not a perfect one, but my only one."

Humming, his classmate seemed to reach a decision. With a smile and an outstretched hand, he said, "I'm Nino. And it's time that you made some new friends, dude."

Eyes wide, Adrien grinned and took the hand as another, very different, rush of pleasure went through him. A friend. His first school friend!

~o~

Unfortunately, Adrien got to enjoy school life for all of about ten minutes before Ladybug's unfinished business came to bite him in the ass. Stoneheart invaded class, capturing _two_ of his classmates, leaving Adrien no choice but to tear off after him. Adrien didn't resent Ladybug for it. Not really.

 _Only Ladybug can capture the akumas._

 _I can't do anything without Ladybug._

However, it did make her lose just a little bit of her luster.

He wasn't perfect, but neither was she.

Even so, Chat Noir was ecstatic when Ladybug finally arrived at the scene, coming to his rescue to save him from the clutches of the Stoneheart horde. "Sorry I was late!" she called to him, after yanking him away from an untimely hulk smash.

"Clumsy Girl!" he declared happily, his lips splitting into a genuine smile. "I think we goofed on our first try." Well, technically _her,_ but he wasn't going to be an ass by pointing that out.

"You don't need to tell me that," Clumsy Girl - Ladybug huffed. "It's time to fix it!"

"Roger that!" Chat replied, grinning as they tore off for the Tour Eiffel.

Ladybug, he learned, was also crazy. Crazy awesome, of course. ...But seriously _crazy_. Trying to keep up with her was an adrenaline frenzied, wild ride, with plans that were at best reckless and spur of the moment and kinda half-assed to be honest. To _think,_ he had to give her a pep talk about how only the pair of them could take on the akuma. It was a terrifying _rush_ , one that he knew he could get used to. In short spurts, of course.

"I think I need to upgrade your nickname to CrazyBug, Clumsy Girl," Chat teased as they watched Miraculous Ladybug repair Paris from the foot of Tour Eiffel. "Or maybe I should be Crazy Cat for following you around." Ladybug responded by socking him on the arm. Laughing, Chat held out a fist. "C'mon, I'm kidding~ Mostly. Good job, Klutz."

"You're awful!" Ladybug pouted but returned the grin and the fist bump. "Thanks for having my back Kit-Kat. ...And for the pep talk," she added shyly.

"Anytime, Bugaboo," Chat winked, giving her a two-finger salute. His ring began to beep, threatening to power out. "Ah, gotta dash! Later!" he called, making a run for his house.

Behind him, Ladybug blushed as he departed. Then she shook her head. No way, she wasn't going to go gaga over her partner. That was totally unprofessional. With that in mind, she waved to Mylene and Ivan, before taking off for her own home.

~o~

 _So_ , Chat Noir and Ladybug managed to save Paris (for real this time). He was a legit superhero! _Nothing_ could take him down now, especially nothing as commonplace as school. Adrien's head still reeled with the knowledge, as he officially started his first day of class. He waved to Nino as he entered the classroom, but then froze when he saw Marinette sitting behind his seat.

 _Marinette._

Smiling a little too wide, he waved rapidly at her. However, she _hmphed_ and turned her head away. At once, the crush _crushed_ him. The plummet from high to low was so brutal, it made him stagger and sway as he took his seat.

Nino smirked as he looked at him. "Yup, that's a Mari-crush alright," he teased.

"She _hates_ me," Adrien groaned, sinking his face into his hands.

"Just tell her the truth, dude," Nino assured him, patting him on the back. "She doesn't bite... mostly."

Slowly, Adrien looked back over his shoulder. All it took was another scathing look from those bluebell eyes to whip him straight. _I can't do it,_ he thought, breaking out into a sweat. How was it possible that this tiny girl was ten times more intimidating than a horde of Stonehearts? "Nino, _help me,_ " he whispered, looking at his new friend in desperation.

Nino laughed. "Okay, sure, dude. I'll be your moral support." He cocked an eyebrow. "Never figured a cover boy model would be smitten by a normal classmate though."

"She's _not-_ " Adrien started indignantly before he restrained himself. The butterflies were back in full force, making him heat up at the thought of his cutest classmate and ready to defend her honor. More quietly, he said, "It's not just about a pretty face. I know that better than anyone. But she's got this _sparkle_ in her eyes that makes me feel _alive_." He sighed happily.

"Oh? You mean when she's glaring at you? So, you're a masochist," Nino said with a teasing grin.

Adrien responded by punching him in the arm.

~o~

That afternoon after school, Adrien stared at Marinette's back waiting in the rain at the arched gateway in front of school. His hands clasped tightly around his umbrella. It was like something straight out of a shoujo manga. He'd seen this so many times. There was a formula. He could _do this._ He had a speech prepared and everything.

He took a step forward. Then before he realized it, he took three steps back. His whole body was turning clammy and he felt his courage failing him. Nino put a hand on his shoulder, gripping him tightly before he could backtrack anymore. "Oh no you don't. Forward march, soldier! Hup-to!"

"I didn't sign up for this!" Adrien wisecracked, before he was summarily shoved up next to her.

Marinette looked to the sudden movement, spying the both of them. "Nino! ...Adrien," she added, the name dripping with distaste.

 _The speech. The speech!_ Adrien told himself, but somehow all the words had completely evaporated from his mind. Worse, that bluebell glare was only getting worse the longer he fought for something to say.

Nino put a hand on Adrien's shoulder. "Mari, give my guy a break here. He's not like that." He elbowed Adrien in the side. _Say something!_ his expression said.

 _I'm trying!_ Adrien shot back. At Marinette's expectant look, he held the closed umbrella out handle first. "Uh- M-Mari, d-do you need this? Since it's raining and everything. Y-you look like you need it."

"Only my friends call me Mari," Marinette growled. "And I don't need a handout, no matter what Chloe might tell you."

"No! That's not-!" Adrien stammered. "I'm sorry! I wasn't trying to- T-take the chewing gum off and then- You know Chloe was my old friend and then- I've never been to a school before and before I knew it- You snuck up on me- and-!"

Marinette narrowed her eyes.

"Dude, you just made it sound like you _did_ do it," Nino hissed at him. Coming to his rescue, he put a hand on Adrien's shoulder. "Mari, I was a witness. Adrien was trying to take the gum off. He's just awkward and homeschooled. _And_ needs better friends than Chloe. Think we can help him out with that?"

Marinette's glare softened just a touch, changing from menacing to somewhat dubious. "...Well, I suppose if it's an act of charity," she said, her lips curling into a sly smile. If the sight of her glare sent Adrien's heart pounding, her smile was enough to give him a stroke. Marinette held out a hand. "Okay, fine. We can be probational friends, okay?"

Adrien's mouth split into a wide smile, feeling his heart soar. "O-okay, Mari," he said, taking her delicate hand (she had a surprisingly firm grip) in his.

"Ah-ah, you get Mari _after_ probation," Marinette replied with a wave of her finger and a smile that made Adrien _melt._ Glancing down at the umbrella, she said, "Don't worry about me. I live just across the street. I'll see you tomorrow, Nino, Pretty Boy." With a wave, she dashed off into the rain. Adrien's gaze followed her, letting out a longing sigh.

 _Wow..._

Wait.

"D-did she just call me Pretty Boy?!" he asked, with a sudden start as his face erupted into a heady blush.

"Doesn't everybody?" Nino asked with a laugh. A town car pulled up in the street ahead and the Gorilla clambered out to open the door for his charge.

"Well, there's my ride," the model sighed, handing his umbrella off to Nino. "Here, you can have this. Thanks for your help. Really."

"No problem," Nino replied with a wave, "I won't be offended if you don't come back."

"Just try and stop me," Adrien laughed. On the ride back, he got lost in thoughts of new days spent with new friends and one spitfire Marinette.

~o~

 **Part 2**

~o~

Ladybug had come to love her time as Paris' savior. Although it was a crazy juggle that sometimes was a little too much for her, nothing brightened her day more than kicking ass and taking names. All the while knowing that she was saving an innocent that needed a cry for help.

A guilty part of her knew that it had a _lot_ to do with her partner. Funny, wisecracking, showboating, loyal, reliable Chat Noir. More often than not, she just liked spending time with _him,_ even though he continued to tease her mercilessly, as he had since the first day they met. She didn't dare call it a crush. That would be a little pathetic. No, they were just best friends, partners. Chat Noir was her _person_. Even if she had no idea who that person was behind the mask. Nothing could get between them. Nothing.

"Hey Klutz!" she heard a familiar call behind her. She was anything _but_ nowadays, but Chat refused to let the silly nicknames slide. His way of keeping her humble, she supposed. Spinning around, she found Chat Noir land in a crouch on a roof motif.

"Good evening, Chaton," she waved, sliding off the of the roof edge. The whole of Paris spread out before them, twinkling in the night. Their Paname. "You ready for patrol?"

"Always," Chat Noir replied, punching her shoulder. Their touches were always like that. Like sibling rivals. Friendly. "Although..." he hesitated, then shook his head, "Nah. It can wait. Race you to Montparnasse!" Without any warning, he catapulted off the roof towards the finish line.

"Hey, no fair!" Ladybug cried. With a grin, she launched herself from the roof and swung after him as fast as she could. Technically, a race like this wasn't really productive towards patrol. Honestly, they didn't need to patrol, but it was a good excuse to stretch their legs, keep their skills sharp in between Akuma. It was more like... training. Yes, training. The pair of them now knew the rooftops of Paris like the back of their hand. A skill that was pretty useful in your back pocket, all truth be told.

Chat won the race by a hair, which Ladybug attributed to his sneaky start. They sat on top of one of the roofs, panting sharply as they tried to catch their breath. "You totally cheated, Chat," Ladybug accused good-naturedly as they sat shoulder to shoulder.

" _Well_ , I am a Black Cat," Chat grinned wickedly at her, "I have to make my own luck." His teasing manner fell away, as he grew more pensive. Ladybug noticed. She was very observant of her kitty. Sometimes a little too much.

"Something on your mind, Chaton?" she asked, bumping shoulders with him.

Chat looked away with those luminous green eyes, worrying his lower lip. "Hey, CrazyBug?" he asked softly, uncharacteristically quiet. "You know girls, right?"

Ladybug went cold, as if ice had just dropped into her stomach. Recovering quickly, she let out a snort. "Well, I _am_ one, last I checked. Why do you ask?"

"There's this girl in my school..." Chat said, a wistful smile stretching across his lips. The pit of dread in Ladybug's stomach only grew, beginning to sprout. "She's _amazing._ She's so confident, and creative, and great at gaming, and always stands up for the underdog. She's got this _fight_ in her that makes her eyes just light up like fireworks."

"Oh? Anyone I know?" she jested. Mostly. ...Actually, no, she wasn't joking. Part of her was seriously tempted to go drop in on this girl and give her a what-for. Some random _nobody_ didn't deserve Chat's heart.

"Ah-ah-ah, that's cheating, Clumsy Girl," Chat grinned.

" _Fine,"_ Ladybug sighed, trying to unclench her fists. "So what's the problem, Chaton? Sounds like a great girl."

"Ah, well..." Chat hesitated before giving his partner a sheepish grin. "Would you believe that I'm not this articulate around her?"

What? _"No..."_ Ladybug declared, genuinely incredulous. _"Seriously?"_

"Seriously. For some reason, as soon as I get anywhere near her, my tongue ties itself up into knots. I'm pretty sure she must think I have some kind of speech impediment." Chat sighed, falling back on the roof to stare up into the dark sky. "I'm just this awkward _loser_ to her."

Ladybug scoffed. "Chat, you're a superhero! You're the furthest thing from a loser there is!" she cried. Okay, now she was _definitely_ going to have a word with this girl, if she had any hand in making Chat feel like anything less than the hero he was. "Chat, _you're_ amazing," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Not this girl. She doesn't know what she's missing, if she can't see you." Her hand tightened. "Do you want me to beat her up for you?"

At that, Chat Noir let out a belly-laugh. "What! _No!_ " He grinned, "Okay maybe. Or at least a stern talking to."

" _Tell me where she lives,"_ Ladybug said ferociously.

However, Chat shook his head, not at all sensing how serious his partner was in that second. "No, I can handle it. I don't need anyone to talk for me. That's part of the problem." He pushed himself up, clasping Ladybug's hands in his. "Tell me how to talk to this girl, Ladybug. I need your advice. Please."

At once, the jealous anger fizzled, subverted by the open vulnerability that her partner showed her. He was genuinely asking for her help. No matter what she was feeling, she owed it to him to point him down the right path. Uncomfortably, she shrugged, unable to meet his eyes. "Meet her as Chat Noir. Y'know, with that mindset. I mean, you're such a wisecracker. That's bound to translate over."

Chat's eyes widened. "You're right," he whispered. Then his lips split into that grin that she so adored. "I knew you'd have the best advice, Bugaboo!" he squealed, gathering his crime-fighting partner up into a hug.

"Yeah, _great..._ " Ladybug replied, trying not to grimace as she returned the hug. Gently, she pressed him away, trying not to choke on the heartbreak that was making it hard to breathe. Smiling through it, she patted him lightly on the shoulder. "Well, I have some homework to get to for tomorrow. I better call it a night. You take care, Kit-Kat."

"Night~" Chat called, already looking away and lost in his own thoughts.

It was a good thing that they did spend so many nights on patrol. It was only muscle-memory that helped Ladybug find her way home through the tears that blurred her vision.

~o~

Marinette was a mess when she arrived at school the next morning. Her hair was disheveled and her eyes were bloodshot. It might be attributed to an all-nighter, but it was really because she had cried herself to sleep last night. Honestly, it was her own fault. She'd spent so long in denial about her own feelings and now Chat was slipping through her grasp. She didn't even have a leg in the race, he was already gone.

With these morose thoughts in mind, she trudged into school a mess. All it took was one look from Alya, for her girl to gasp and fuss over her as she pleased. "Girl! What's wrong!" she demanded, cupping Marinette's cheeks in her hands. "You look like shit!"

"Aw, _thanks_ ," Marinette snarked. She wasn't wrong though. "I just..." She released a sigh. There were only so many ways to explain what was wrong. "A penpal of mine, who I've been talking to for months... I thought I liked him - No, I really _did_ like him - Well... He's in love with someone else. Completely head over heels, actually..." she mumbled, looking at the floor.

Alya's jaw dropped momentarily as she took this in. Then she let out a soft sympathetic noise. "Oh, _Mari._ I'm so sorry, sweetie," she hushed, as she gathered her best friend up in a hug.

"I _really_ liked him," Marinette sobbed, fresh tears welling up in her bloodshot eyes. "I really, _really_ liked him."

"I know, I know," Alya hushed, even though she knew for all of about two minutes. She was the perfect emotional totem, ignoring the school bell as she continued to comfort her dearest friend. After a while, Marinette pulled away, wiping away her tears with her wrists.

"Sorry. I just... It's still kinda raw," Marinette sniffled.

"Hey, it's okay, girl. You know I'm always here for you. Even if that smelly boy isn't," Alya smiled, squeezing her girlfriend's hands. "Now, you think you're okay for class?"

"Y-yeah," Marinette nodded. She sucked in another breath, trying to pull in the Ladybug confidence that had kept her buoyant for these many months. "Okay. I'm ready. Thanks, Alya."

"Anytime," Alya grinned. "Besides, I didn't even know you were netting, Nette. There's plenty of other fish in the sea."

"Oh _stop,_ " Marinette replied with a huff and a laugh.

"I'm _serious!"_ Alya grinned. "You've got Nathaniel, the artist. Max, the gamer. Ivan's taken. Kim's all over Chloe, so his taste is awful. Nino- _ish_. Oh! And of course, _Adrien Agreste_ ," she teased, bumping shoulders with her girl.

"... _Pretty Boy?_ " Marinette asked incredulously. "No. No, flippin' way."

"But he _likes_ you! It's so _obvious!_ " Alya cried, letting out a laugh. "He's liked you since the very first day of school! C'mon, _anyone_ would be _dying_ to be in your place with a cover boy drooling all over you."

"He is _not_ drooling. That is _gross!"_ Marinette scoffed. No way. Alya couldn't possibly be more off base with this. Adrien was simply the most awkward individual that she'd ever met in her entire life. Considering his background - model from a young age, homeschooled all his life, control-freak for a father, _Chloe_ for his only friend - it was a wonder that Adrien didn't turn out even more socially-awkward than he was. The kid had issues, that was for sure.

"I'm just _saying~_ " Alya singsonged as the pair of them came to their classroom door. Since class had already started, the pair of them had to sneak in as inconspicuously as possible. As the door creaked open behind Mme. Bustier's back, they drew the attention of the rest of their class.

Adrien had a prime spot in his seat in the front row. Pretty Boy's face lit up at the sight of the pair of them and he waved. Marinette made frantic motion for him to not draw attention, but it was too late. Mme Bustier turned around and glared at the girls. "Do either of you have a pass?" she asked with justifiable skepticism.

"Um, we had some lady problems," Alya said quickly, ushering her and Marinette to their seats while the rest of the class sniggered.

Mme. Bustier's nose crinkled, but she decided to let it slide. "Next time girls, please get a pass from the nurse." With that she turned back to the lesson.

Adrien, that sweet, naive, innocent, _stupid_ boy, turned a concerned face up to the pair of them. "L-lady problems?" he asked, stammering like he always did. "Is there anything th-that I could do to help, Marinette?" Only to have his three closest pounce at once.

"Do you not know what _'lady problems'_ means?!" Marinette hissed, while Alya groaned into her palm and Nino viciously jabbed his boy in the ribs. Adrien's entire face went as bright as a tomato. He likely still didn't know what the term meant, but he figured out quickly enough it was something that he wasn't supposed to be asking about. He stiffly turned towards the board, radiating mortification out of his ears.

Marinette shook her head, looking skyward to pray to the gods to bless this dear idiotic classmate of hers. She ignored Alya's blatant 'I told you so' look, because she was still off base. Instead, she tried to do what she could to take her mind off of Chat Noir.

Feeling a little better after class, with plenty to preoccupy her mind, Marinette tried to focus instead on her next fashion project. She stretched out on one of the benches in the courtyard, chewing the eraser of her pencil as she considered her sketch.

"Wow, that's a r-really nice design!"

Marinette looked up from her sketchbook. Adrien stood over her, his hands clasped behind his back and Nino conspicuously absent. It was _odd_ because Nino always seemed to hang around Adrien wherever they went. Those two were inseparable.

Looking down at the derby hat, she turned a faint smile up at awkward Adrien. "Thanks. I suppose coming from you, that's high praise."

"Wh-what? N-n-no," Adrien stammered, waving his hands. Damn, and he was doing so well too. "I mean, I'm not- My dad's the one- I'm kind of an idiot when it comes to these things. You shouldn't- I'm not special. Sorry!"

Marinette's heart broke for him. Oh, he tried so hard, her poor Pretty Boy. Sighing, she closed up her book. "Pretty Boy, have a seat," she said, patting the bench next to her.

Flushed and awkward, he mutely obeyed. The cheesy smell that seemed to follow him around seemed much more pungent in close proximity.

"So," she coughed, opening up to the design. "What do you like about it?"

"U-uhm," Adrien peered at the sketch. "It... has f-feathers?"

"Oh? So, you like birds?" Marinette asked with a smile.

"Ah. Actually. I'm kind of a-allergic..."

At once the smile dropped. Marinette looked to her sketch. Then she pulled it out, crumpled it up into a ball and tossed it into the trash.

"What, no! I didn't mean for you to do that!" Adrien cried.

"Pretty Boy, you just told me you're allergic to the hat I'm making. For _you._ What am I supposed to do?" Marinette asked in exasperation.

Adrien flushed, snapping his mouth shut with a sharp click. Yeah, this was how most of their interactions went. " _Sorry, I'll just go_ ," the model mumbled under his breath, as he clutched his bag to him and for lack of a better word, _fled._

Just a little exhausted by the encounter, Marinette rubbed her temple, before she began to brainstorm a newer, better design.

~o~

Marinette sighed as she cast aside her fifteenth idea in the safety of her room. Unfortunately, her little pow-wow with Adrien had thrown her completely for a loop and she was designing in circles since then. She'd thought for _sure_ she had a clear winner with her feather hat, but now the model had completely blown that out the water.

 _Damn it, Pretty Boy,_ she sighed, irritated from frustration and lack of sleep.

Then, something knocked at the hatch above her bed. Marinette froze. Her bluebell eyes cast upwards to the hatch. That was a very _deliberate_ knock. Like someone was right outside kind of knock.

Then it sounded again.

Warily, Marinette looked to Tikki, who zipped underneath her jacket as a precaution. Then she cautiously tapped back on the hatch door. "Who is it?" she called up to her ceiling.

"It's Chat Noir," a _very_ familiar voice called back.

Marinette froze, her eyes growing wide. What? WHAT? Why on earth- How? Did Chat Noir somehow figure out who she was?! What was he doing here?!

Another knock. "Marinette? Are you there?"

How did he know her _name?!_

Nonetheless, she slowly unlatched her lock and swung the hatch door wide open. Above her, her dearest partner, her best friend, her _person,_ Chat Noir squatted on her roof top. Grinning at her. "Good evening, Prrincess," he purred, taking her hand to kiss it. "Let me introduce myself. My name is Chat Noir. Purr-haps you've heard of me?"

 _Yes, I've heard of you, my silly Kit-Kat,_ Marinette thought, wondering what kind of game he was playing. Well, she could play that game too. Just a little vindictive from her heartbreak, she asked casually, "Oh? You're Ladybug's sidekick, aren't you? Of course, I've heard of you!"

Chat faltered at that, causing a prickle (maybe a stab) of guilt. However, he recovered quickly and gave her one of his heart-stopping smiles, "Ah, that is exactly right, Prrincess. At your service."

Despite herself, Marinette blushed. "No, at yours, Chato- Chat Noir. Whatever are you doing on my balcony so late at night? Is there some kind of emergency where you need a civilian's help?"

"Not at all, milady," Chat Noir purred looking at her with sultry green eyes, his demeanor so at odds with the silly goofball that she'd grown so accustomed to. She wasn't prepared for this slick cat at all. "I was just passing by and noticed a lonely princess up in her tower. I thought I'd introduce myself and see if you needed any rescuing." He smiled fondly at her. "A little birdie told me that you weren't feeling that great today."

Who? Who on earth would-? Marinette let out a breath. Alya. She did have very _interesting_ connections, to say the least. Alya couldn't possibly have known _who_ had caused her distress though. "That little birdie might be right," Marinette admitted.

"Is there any way I can be of service, milady?" Chat asked, his voice achingly soft. It made her heart break and soar all at once.

 _You going to forget about that crush of yours?_

Marinette shook her head. "No, but _thank you,_ " she replied just as softly. "I'll be alright, Chat Noir. Don't worry about me."

"Alas, I make for a very poor knight for his prrincess," Chat said with a helpless shrug and a sigh. "There's no way I can ask for her favor in that case."

"And what kind of favor would you be looking for?" Marinette asked with a grin. "We do have the best macarons in Paris, in my opinion."

"Actually," Chat leaned in very suddenly, making the schoolgirl flush. "I was looking for something a little less... _tangible._ "

"Like what?" Marinette asked quietly.

"A kiss," the black cat replied, tapping a clawed finger to his cheek.

Marinette's face broke into a bright blush. "That's awfully forward of you, tomcat. Do you demand kisses from every girl you visit at night?"

"Yes~" Chat grinned, "but seeing as you're the only one, I hope you won't be offended."

 _You sly-_ Marinette thought, her blush growing even worse. "...I suppose I can pay you for your service in advance," she muttered, pushing herself up to sit on the edge of her hatch door. Her heart threatened to pound out of her chest, her head screaming at her that this was a terrible idea. But she didn't _care._ Neither breathed as she gingerly brushed her fingers along his jaw, touching the edges of his blond hair. She leaned in, ready to give him a chaste peck on the cheek.

Suddenly, he turned and she found herself pressing a kiss instead to two warm lips.

The girl squeaked in startlement, but then a clawed hand cupped the back of her neck and deepened the kiss. It was hot, desperate, breathless. They came away, panting softly, staring into each other's eyes.

"Ch-Chat?" Marinette asked, dizzy and more than a little confused.

Licking his lips, the black cat gave her a smile that was nothing less than wicked. "See you later, milady," he purred in promise, giving her a wink. With that he was gone, nothing more than a dark shadow speeding away into the night.

Marinette fell back into her bed, staring up at the open hatch and into the night sky above. From her jacket pocket, Tikki peered out, her eyes wide. "M-Marinette? Are you alright?" the little red kwami asked as the schoolgirl trembled.

"W-w-w-WHAAAT?!" Marinette shrieked, fisting her hands in her hair.

~o~

 **Part 3**

~o~

"H-hi, Marinette!"

Marinette glanced distractedly up at her schoolmate, sort-of friend. "Oh. Hi, Pretty Boy," she said distractedly, tapping her stylus against her desk as she waited for class to start. She had ample reason for her head to be in the clouds, considering that her platonic partner had suddenly shown up at her balcony last night and kissed her senseless.

Awkward Adrien stood by her a pause too long. She glanced up at him. He was holding himself a little... differently this morning. Arms at his sides instead of clutching something like a security blanket, which showed off his height and broad shoulders. His expression smooth instead of tense with anxiety, which seemed to unlock the full effect of his perfect bone structure. _Odd_. "Um... did you need something?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Mmm, no. Just enjoying the view," Adrien replied with a smirk that just about felled her flat.

" _Toldja_ ~" Alya cackled next to her, as Marinette's jaw dropped to the floor.

"Um... I-I'm sorry, _what?_ " Marinette demanded, ignoring her bestie. However, Adrien didn't answer with anything but a wicked smile and a wink, before he took his seat in the front row. A wicked smile that seemed... _awfully_ familiar. Familiar enough that her face erupted into a bright blush. Marinette stared at the back of his head as if he'd grown a second. Had he always had such good posture? Was his hair always so perfect?

" _Fish in the sea~"_ Alya singsonged, earning her a smack on the arm.

Marinette had absolutely _no_ idea where this bolder (and God help her, sort of _sexy_ ) Adrien came from all of the sudden. Coupled that with the bizarre encounter she had with Chat Noir last night, her love life had suddenly gone from zilch, nada, to a full-blown love triangle.

Alya wasn't helping, giving her the most devious and wicked grins that she could manage. Then her phone buzzed and she pulled up the alert on her screen. She gasped, "Mari! There was akuma spotted at Notre-Dame! He's calling himself the Dog Catcher!"

"Oh, uh- I need to head to the restroom!" Adrien said loudly, rushing out of class just as Mme. Bustier walked in. Poor boy. His chronic intestinal issues were probably caused by his modeling occupation.

"Me too!" Marinette cried, hurrying right after the model, but with an entirely different agenda. Once again, the memory of last night made itself very prominent in her mind as she hurried into a broom closet to transform into Ladybug. Even now, it made her face heat up to the point it was steaming.

Hoo-boy. Working with Chat Noir was _sure_ going to be interesting from now on.


	2. Act 2, Scene 1

**AN:** Oh boy. Okay fiiiine. Somehow thanks to all the egging on, I have managed to come up with a complete story. I have been writing/editing this non-stop and slept maybe two hours. I love/hate you guys. P

~o~

 _One month later..._

Chloe Bourgeois was a mean bitch. Adrien knew this for ages. However, before he started school he'd always taken this knowledge with as much endearment as he did with exasperation. She was loud and (very) opinionated and never afraid to speak her mind. That was just the way she was. She had even, on more than one occasion, made him laugh involuntarily with her mean sense of humor.

Then when he got to school, he had to come to the horrible realization that Chloe was a bully. Her mean spirited snipes weren't reserved for private town cars, out of earshot. She wasn't indiscriminate in her opinions. She had no problem with making the most vulnerable of their classmates the brunt of her mean sense of humor, which was _never_ funny since they couldn't stand up for themselves. She used people as stepping stones in her climb up the social ladder. To be what? Most horrible person in school? It completely mystified him.

Adrien also had to get used to the fact that Chloe was starting to treat him the same way. Ever since she realized that he had a massive crush on her archnemesis (which was obvious to everyone _except_ Marinette), her opinion of _him_ decidedly cooled. Suddenly, he found himself the target of her sharp tongue and narrowed eyes. He could handle it sure, but it still _hurt._ He probably had it coming anyway, seeing as he never tried to dissuade her in the past and wasn't sure how to even now.

The one good thing was that Chloe didn't try to publically humiliate him as she did the others. She extended at least _that_ courtesy to him.

"Adrien, you _have_ to get over this stupid crush!" she hissed at him after she cornered him in a more secluded part of the school courtyard. Sabrina lingered like a third wheel, clearly uncomfortable with ganging up on one person instead of defending Chloe against the great unwashed. Chloe had no such qualms. "It's absolutely pathetic and you're the laughing stock of the entire school!"

Adrien cringed. Well, she wasn't _wrong._ Everyday, he'd get sly smiles and knowing looks. Little smart aleck comments on whether or not he saw Marinette that day. Or he'd hear them whisper just out of earshot, giggling and mimicking his stammering around his crush. Each time, he _hated_ the fact that his face was on nearly every street corner in Paris. For some reason, celebrity just meant that everyone in school had carte blanche permission to gossip about and tease him as if they _knew_ him.

Chloe wasn't nearly done with him though. "You're just like some sad little three-legged dog around her, living off little scraps of attention! Trying to be so eager to please and failing at it! And for _her_ of all people! Not even someone that's worthy of your attention! You're completely ruining your image with all your hopeless behavior, and mine!"

 _I deserve this,_ Adrien thought, his throat growing tight as the words pierced him like death by a thousand cuts. He didn't dare speak, since he didn't trust his voice wouldn't break. _I deserve this. How could I not have seen how bad she was? I should have done something years ago._

It was just like Chloe to know exactly where to strike to hurt hardest.

"I can't believe I told everyone I was friends with you!" she howled in outrage with a stamp of her foot, drawing the attention of everyone in proximity in the courtyard.

Everyone stopped to stare at the confrontation. Stopped to stare at mean-bitch Chloe rip a new one into the most (in)famous kid in school. Some of them smiled, snickering to one another. They didn't see how they were just as bad as Chloe themselves, in a quieter, subtle, _horrible_ sort of way.

"HEY!"

Adrien looked up, not realizing until then how dangerously hot and wet his eyes were.

Marinette looked at the three of them, hands on her hips, and her bluebell eyes burning with hellfire fury. Chloe and Sabrina took a step back as she approached with hands clenched into trembling fists at her sides. Even those around her spread away in a ripple. _No one_ had ever seen the pig-tailed girl like this before.

Standing a foot apart from Chloe, Adrien could see Marinette _shake_ with anger, as if it was taking everything in her not to explode. Then one hand unclenched, and flew up over her head in a way that could only mean one thing.

Adrien moved as fast as his Chat-reflexes allowed, grabbing Marinette's wrist before the strike connected. Chloe shrieked anyway, falling to the ground and onto her ass. Marinette's eyes, however, had snapped up to his and Adrien was hopelessly ensnared. Swallowing hard, he said, "N-no, it's not worth it. I'm not worth it. Please, M-Marinette." Mentally, he cursed in frustration. _Even now_ his heroic feat was tainted with his _stupid_ stuttering.

The hellfire in Marinette dimmed regardless, settling down into an angry boil. "Your _not_ -friend just saved you from the beating of your life," she hissed down at Chloe. "You had better remember that before you open your poisonous trap again."

With that, she tugged Adrien away from the corner of the courtyard and towards the front gate of the school. It was technically break and they weren't _supposed_ to leave the school grounds (not that Chat didn't on a regular basis), but Marinette was leading them toward the patisserie. Towards her _house_ , Adrien realized as twin feelings of elation and _terror_ shot through him.

With her parents busy in the shop, it was easy enough to sneak up to the second floor without anyone noticing. Adrien gaped at the interior, which was as warm and as cozy as he'd imagined. Only now his imaginings were supplemented with the smell of freshly baked bread rising from below. Meanwhile, Marinette still hadn't said a word as she sat Adrien down at the kitchen bar, then left him alone to go downstairs.

Once he was alone, it took all Adrien had not to completely lose it. "Oh my God, Plagg. I'm in her house. I'm in Marinette's house! What do I do- _whatdoido?_ " he cried, fisting his hands into his hair.

"It's _just_ a house, kid! Chill!" Plagg hissed from his pocket.

Adrien's panic didn't have much chance to upwardly spiral, when Marinette returned to the kitchen. She put down a plate of cookies and pastries and a glass of milk. "Here, eat," she ordered, sitting down across from him.

A blush spread across Adrien's cheeks. "Th-thanks," he mumbled, pulling the plate towards him. On it, the cremes and custards glistened with sugar and the dark-light smell of chocolate and butter wafted off the cookies. Adrien was hard pressed not to drool. This was more sweets than he'd seen in a _year._ Hesitantly, he took a bite of a mini-creme brulee with a sprig of mint and raspberry. That single bite very nearly did him in. He let out a blissful moan of pleasure, his whole body slouching as though he threatened to ooze into a puddle.

Marinette let out a giggle. "Good, huh? Go on, have some more." Which Adrien happily did.

 _That's it. I can die happy now. I'm eating sweets in Marinette's house and she's smiling at me._

Maybe this _was_ heaven and he just didn't know it yet. Did his life flash before his eyes at any point?

Marinette watched him with a grin, propping her chin up from the kitchen counter. "You look like you're feeling better. I'm glad," she said. "I cannot _believe_ what Chloe said to you. I was so worried that you were going to akumatize right then and there."

All at once, the happy fantasy screeched to a halt.

"W-wait," Adrien said, pointing to himself as his eyes widened. "Y-you seriously thought I-"

Marinette shifted uncomfortably, not quite able to meet his eye. "Well, we've seen people akumatized for a lot less, haven't we?"

Adrien stared at her incredulously. _But I'm Chat Noir. What about you! You were about to hit her!_

He didn't say that though. The model looked instead to the half-finished plate of sweets, his appetite suddenly diminished. "...Is that why," he said, gesturing to the plate. Disappointment raked through him. Great, he was just here because Marinette didn't want yet _another_ classmate of theirs to destroy the school.

"No, of course not!"

Adrien's eyes snapped up. Marinette glared at him, almost angry. But it was an indignant kind of anger instead. "You think I'd hit Chloe anytime she bullied someone? She'd be in the hospital in a coma by now!"

...That image really shouldn't be funny. It really shouldn't. But Adrien snorted involuntarily anyway. Encouraged, Marinette's glare morphed into a smile. "For the record, you're worth getting into trouble over. We're friends. And you need them more than most."

 _Oh. Great. Yeah, friends. Totally friend-zoned, that's me._ So much for all the so-called 'progress' he made in the past month. The blond fought through his mental sigh to give his friend a smile in return. Well, even if he and Marinette only ever were friends (even if he desperately hoped for otherwise), he was still the luckiest guy on the face of the planet.

Marinette hopped off her stool, coming up to give Adrien a tight hug. All coherent thought left the model in that single moment, as if the heated blush that took over his whole face fried them all away.

Stepping back, his schoolmate looked him over and gave him a teasing grin. "What, never got a hug before, Pretty Boy?" she laughed. The blush only got worse and he stammered something so unintelligible, even _he_ had no idea what he was trying to say. "Don't be embarrassed! Friends give friends hugs all the time! Especially girls. You gotta start getting used to it now."

Adrien wanted to cry. That was _not_ why he was _blushing!_

He was going to say something to that effect ( _no, he really_ was _this time, dammit-shut up)_ , when Marinette booped him on the nose. That single touch made him lose his mind all over again.

"I don't know why I worried that you'd become an akuma," she laughed, her beautiful bluebell eyes dancing with mirth. "You're so innocent and naive. You don't have a single dark patch in your soul."

 _Goddammit. Whyyyy?_

While Adrien contemplated what surface to repeatedly bang his head against, his pig-tailed classmate waved him over. "Okay, Pretty Boy, we should be getting back to school. We've got two minutes before class starts. Bring the sweets with you!"

With a heavy sigh, the model did as he was bid, following his crush down the stairs and trudging back towards school.

 _Marinette,_ he thought wearily, _if anyone's going to make me an akuma, it's going to be you._

~o~

Chat _really_ wasn't planning on visiting his princess that night. Honestly, he'd been trying to avoid it since that one night he kissed her. It was just supposed to be a one-time deal. He just needed a boost of confidence, a secret weapon. An ' _I-know-something-you-don't-know'._ He was supposed to use it to become more confident around Marinette as _Adrien._

...But Adrien was floundering again and his _manhood_ was at stake, dammit!

Making sure that Marinette was in her room, he silently dropped down to the hatch door of her balcony. He slinked over like a panther stalking its prey, looking at the outline of light around the hatch. He swallowed reflexively, feeling a familiar and unwanted thread of anxiety. No, he wasn't Adrien, right now. He was _Chat Noir._ Superhero. Savior of Paris. He was _not_ going to let Agreste infect him.

Shoving that part of him away, kicking and screaming, he sucked in a breath and rapped on the door. "Prrincess~" he catcalled through the hatch. "Your knight, Chat Noir, comes calling~"

His enhanced hearing picked up the sudden cessation of movement. Then the movement became more rapid as Marinette came up to the hatch door. It creaked open, followed by a pair of justifiably suspicious bluebell eyes. _So cute._ "Hello, tomcat," Marinette said darkly, peering at him through the crack in the door. "...What are you doing here?"

"Is that really any way to greet a hero?" Chat purred as he sprawled himself along the roof floor, more than a little amused.

"Hero? More like thief!" the girl cried indignantly. However, she flung open the hatch door, nearly nailing him in the process if he hadn't ducked out of the way in time. Even in the dark, her face glowed with a pretty blush. "You can't just trick girls into kisses like that without asking!"

"Girls, no. Absolutely not," Chat agreed, before his lips split into a wicked smile. "Girl, singular, is purr-fectly acceptable."

" _Grk,"_ Marinette gritted her teeth, her blush only growing worse. A rather dark part of the black cat crowed and preened at the sight of it. _Revenge!_ Crossing her arms over her chest, the pig-tailed girl glared at him with those spitfire eyes, threatening to pierce him once again with Cupid's Bow.

Chat Noir mentally caught the arrow before it could hit. He was prepared for it this time.

"Ah, I have greatly offended milady, I see," he sighed with heavy-handed remorse, shaking his head. He took her delicate hand and knelt before her, placing a small kiss on her knuckles. "Is there anything that I can do to earn your forgiveness?"

Marinette gave him a dubious look, but her angry facade had some obvious cracks in it. It _was_ hard to stay angry at a superhero, he supposed. Good. He was going to play that up for all it was worth. Leaning in until they were nose to nose, until they could feel the _heat_ from each other and their breath intermingled, he spoke softly and tenderly squeezed her hand, "Prrincess, fur-give me?"

Her face went redder, as if she were about to pass out from heatstroke. "F-fine, you silly cat! You're forgiven!" she caved, wriggling in discomfort. She let out a gasp of breath when he pulled away, as if she were desperate for air.

Feeling quite pleased with himself, Chat Noir grinned at his little blushing canary. "Good," he purred. Now to get to the _why_ he was here. "Because as your devoted knight, I have to ask about these strange men you're inviting into your home. I would be remiss if I did not do my due diligence in defending your virtue."

"Strange men?" Marinette asked, genuinely befuddled. " _What_ strange men?"

Chat hesitated. " _Er-_ w-well, a little birdie told me about a certain blond casanova that came to your house today," he added smoothly, recovering from a brief mental flub.

Marinette stared at him, still confused.

Chat tried again. "...Gorgeous green-eyed wonder. Famous celebrity."

" _Um_..." Marinette frowned.

At last, the cat said flatly, "Adrien Agreste. He's in your class _._ "

Finally, comprehension dawned, as her mouth formed into a small ' _o'_.

Then, suddenly, she let out a snort. Then promptly erupted into uproarious laughter.

Chat twitched.

"Casanova?! _Pretty Boy?!_ " she howled, holding onto her sides as she tried to gasp for breath through her laughter. "Are you _kidding_ me?! ' _Strange men'_ ," she mocked, making air quotations, "Oh _please_!"

Folding his arms over his chest, the black cat growled in irritation, "He's a model and a celebrity. I have it on very good authority that those types are infamous playboys. You don't know what sorts of wicked things they might be thinking."

" _Not_ this one," Marinette snorted. "He's completely harmless, Chat. I thought for a half-minute that he might..." she paused at the memory from a month ago, before shaking her head, "but no, I think that Alya was just getting into my head. He's just some awkward, cute kid in my class. I mean, he _barely_ even qualifies as a man."

Honestly, Chat didn't know what happened. Not until it happened. However, it followed that he must have surprised her, pushed her down the hatch and onto her bed. Because now he straddled her on her own bed, clawed hands on either side of her startled face.

" _Don't_ underestimate him," he growled, his voice low and dangerous. "Don't underestimate _any_ boy, Marinette. You don't know what their intentions are."

...Then, Chat realized what he'd done. What he was _doing._ A wash of cold went through him, making his limbs turn to ice. Holy _shit._ What was he doing?!

Marinette stared up at him. For some reason, she wasn't scared like any sane girl ought to be in this situation. Especially one that (to her knowledge) only met him once before. Instead, the startelement eased into a strange sort of _fondness._ "You're right," she smiled, reaching up to pat him on the head as if he were a pussy-cat. "I'm sorry, that was really mean of me."

 _Why was SHE apologizing?! This crazy girl!_

Finally recovering his senses, Chat sprung back from her, meekly folding up in on himself on the corner of her bed. "Th-that's okay," he coughed, looking anywhere but at her. "As long as you understand the situation."

" _Oh~_ I think I do," Marinette replied, her expression turning sly. She scooted closer, catching Chat's chin between her fingers and turning his masqued face towards hers. "You've got nothing to be worried about, silly boy. Adrien Agreste doesn't hold a candle to you."

... _What._

His mind blanked, when two cherry lips pressed into his. It was better than last time, since this time, she was invading, _demanding,_ and he couldn't help but respond in full. Moaning softly, he combed his clawed fingers through her hair, catching and ripping one of her ribbons. When they separated, him pressed up against the headboard, he looked up to see her framed in the night sky, messed and flushed. Like a radiant goddess.

Marinette smiled down at him. "I think-" she said in a clipped, teasing tone, "you had better go."

"I- er- wha- but-" Chat stammered, _Adrien_ somehow surfacing with his mind completely wiped. However, Marinette pressed a finger to his lips to shut him up.

" _Ah-ah,_ no arguing," she said sternly, even as she smiled. "I have school tomorrow and I think you do, too. You better get on home and get some sleep."

Mutely, Chat obeyed. He slinked out through the hatch door, which was summarily shut and locked behind him with a single ' _See ya later.'_ Then he began to vault across the rooftops, heading back towards the Agreste mansion completely on autopilot.

Halfway back home, he slowed and stopped on top of a lone gable. Then the full impact of what just occurred hit him like the Titanic, as his eyes widened and he began to shake.

" _WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?!"_


	3. Act 2, Scene 2

Ladybug tried very hard not to stare at Chat Noir as the pair of them watched over Paris from atop the Tour Eiffel. She'd won their race by a long-shot. He was clearly distracted, even now completely lost in his own thoughts. Unfortunately, he was also more than a little _distracting_ , considering that she knew exactly what kinds of noises he made when he kissed. How would he feel, if he knew that his Clumsy Girl knew that, she wondered.

She was going to _have_ to address the elephant in the room. Even if she was the only one who could see it.

"So~ Chat~" she called out to him, her voice a little too fake to be casual. "That girl you were telling me about? Did you make any progress with her?"

Chat jumped, as startled as a cat sprayed with water. Eyes wide, he whipped around with an expression that reeked of guilt. "What? I- uh- N-no, actually," he stuttered, which was _odd_ for him. Shaking it off, he seemed to come more to himself and replied sheepishly, "Actually, it's going kind of terribly."

"...Oh," Ladybug replied, frowning deeply. Making out with her was his version of going _terribly?_ Well, that was assuming that she _was_ even the girl in question. ...What if she wasn't? Her cheeks flushed, wondering if she really had completely misread him. Oh _God,_ that would be the end of her.

Somewhat oblivious, Chat offered her a bright smile trying to reassure her, "But don't worry about it, CrazyBug. I'll figure out how to fix it. Somehow."

Justifiably skeptical, Ladybug nodded slowly. "If you say so." She worried her lower lip. "So... _how_ did you say you knew her again?"

"From school," the black cat replied simply.

Well, she figured that much. Ladybug studied him, trying to draw a comparison between him and the other blonds she knew at school. He _had_ to go to her school, right? If not just because she might be the crush in question, but because he knew Alya... right?

...Unless Alya knew him from the Ladyblog, in which case she was completely screwed.

"Tell me about her," she demanded.

"... _Why?_ " Chat asked, frowning.

"Because I'm interested, obviously, Kit-Kat," Ladybug replied in exasperation. "You're my _person_ , Chaton. I want to make sure that whoever snaps up _my_ person isn't some deranged weirdo."

"And _you'd_ tell me about all the weirdos you're dating in your life," Chat asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

 _Not when it's you, you idiot!_ Ladybug thought, her cheeks brightening into a blush. "W-well, why not! We talk about everything else, don't we? What's a little gossip between two crime-fighting buddies, huh? Right... _bro?_ " she said, awkwardly punching him on the arm.

" _Yeeeah,_ nice try," Chat replied flatly. "There is _no way_ I'm sharing with you what a complete and epic fail my love life is. I need to keep _some_ of my dignity."

"You did _before_ ," Ladybug replied sullenly.

"Yeah and your advice didn't exactly help!" the black cat suddenly snapped. A tense pause passed between them, with the superheroine only able to stare wide-eyed at her partner. "...Sorry," he said, expression riddled with guilt. "I didn't mean that. It's just... really not going well at all," he muttered, looking away.

This really wasn't helping to answer any of her questions. Even so, Ladybug knew her partner well enough that now was not the right time to prod. Gently, she put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "Chaton, you know I'm here for you. No matter what happens. Right?"

"I know," the cat replied softly, turning a grateful (albeit tense) smile toward her. He wrapped an arm around her, giving her a quick one-armed squeeze before he playfully ruffled her hair. "Thanks, Klutz. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Me too," Ladybug muttered with a resigned sigh.

~o~

Marinette studied the back of Adrien's head.

It was physics period, so her mind always wandered during the lesson. She didn't much want to think about the puzzle that was Chat Noir's crush at the moment. So instead her mind turned to his supposed nemesis.

Why on _earth_ would Chat imply that Pretty Boy was trouble? Despite his vehemence on the matter, Marinette still had a hard time believing it.

As if sensing her thoughts, the model glanced up from his work and peeked over his shoulder. With a thin-lipped smile, Marinette gave him a brief two-finger salute. He didn't respond, save for stiffly whipping his attention up front and ignoring her.

...Ooookay, that was a little strange. What was going on with Pretty Boy?

Of course, this wasn't the first time he'd acted out of sorts. She recalled that one time he'd legitimately flirted with her. He hadn't actually since then, so she was tempted to call that a fluke. No matter what Alya said. Still he was slowly, _painfully_ slowly, getting better. Though he still stammered, he didn't act like he was walking through a minefield with each syllable. He actually initiated conversations with her, without Nino anywhere closeby to help him talk. It was... progress. She was very proud of her little sunshine child. He was really beginning to come into his own.

So _why_ did Chat call him trouble?

She was determined to get to the bottom of it.

After class, Marinette went searching for him. Strangely, Pretty Boy was making himself notoriously difficult to find. Nino said he hadn't seen him, although the slight glance to his left said otherwise. He wasn't in the locker rooms, the boys' room, the library, or the gym.

It was as if Adrien were avoiding her...

 _...Nah,_ that couldn't be.

"It is _not_ pathetic!" she heard a muffled voice suddenly hiss from, of all places, her favorite broom closet to transform into Ladybug. She paused in front of the door, raising an eyebrow. That sounded like... "I am _not_ avoiding her. I just don't want to see her right now, okay? I'm still trying to figure things out!"

Hesitantly, Marinette knocked on the closet door. "...Pretty Boy? Is that you?"

There was a long pregnant pause.

"H-h-hi Marinette!" answered a high shrill. Yeah, it was Pretty Boy, alright. "F-funny running into you here! How's it going!"

"...Are you...okay?" Marinette asked uncertainly, her brow knitting into a frown. It sounded an awful lot like he was talking to someone in there. Of course, he could have been talking on his cell. "Chloe didn't bully you again, did she? Do you want me to talk to her?"

"No don't!" Adrien cried, flinging the door open. He was completely red, probably mortified that he'd been caught in the sanitation closet. "I-I'm fine! Everything is a-ok! A-absolutely nothing wrong here!"

"... _Rrright_ ," Marinette replied with a healthy dose of skepticism. However, he looked so painfully uncomfortable, she was willing to let it slide for now. "Suit yourself. Actually, I wanted to talk to you, if you had a spare minute."

"O-oh, great!" the model said with such a false sense of cheer that his voice cracked. "Wh-what about?"

"Do you know Chat Noir?"

Adrien froze. After a moment of silence that was too long not to be suspicious, he laughed hysterically and pointed a finger to himself. "Do _I_ know Chat Noir? Do I _know_ Chat Noir? Y-you're asking if _I_ know Chat Noir? D-don't we _all_ know Chat Noir? I m-mean, isn't he part of Paris now and w-we're all Parisians and he's somehow all part of us? Like you are me and he is she and everyone together? Aren't we all Chat Noir? D-deep down on the inside? W-well, not me obviously, because that would be completely ridiculous! Me! Chat Noir inside! Ha!"

Marinette stared. Okay, Adrien had some bad babble sessions before, but this was getting to be seriously _next level._ Best thing to do in these situations, she learned, was to walk away. Slowly. "Y'know what? Never mind," she said with a bright smile. "I just found out I got a- uh... _thing_. Yup, a thing. See ya!" With that, she spun around and... _extricated_ herself from the situation.

"Tikki, what the _hell_ was that?" she hissed down to the little kwami in her purse. Tikki only responded with a faint, nervous laugh and a shrug. Like she didn't quite believe it either.

Well, she definitely wasn't getting anything out of Adrien. Not for a while, anyway.

Letting loose a sigh of defeat, Marinette resigned herself to just hoping that Chat Noir darkened her door again.

~o~

It turned out that Marinette didn't have to wait all that long. That very night, when the cat was supposed to be out on patrol, she heard a knock at her hatch door that was becoming increasingly familiar.

Taking a second to check in the mirror that her lip gloss was okay, Marinette shook her nerves out and then went to attend to her gentleman caller. "Chat!" she smiled, as she was greeted by a pair of luminous green eyes in the dark. "What a surprise~! Whatever can I do for you?"

Chat Noir answered her sarcasm with a wicked smile. "Nothing milady," he purred, gently pressing a kiss to her knuckles. "Just seeing your face is enough to fulfill my every desire."

"What? Not looking for any _special_ favors this time?" Marinette asked slyly as she anchored herself on the edge of the hatch.

At this, Chat seemed to hesitate. A pool of dread filled in her stomach, as he seemed to filter through his thoughts for the right thing to say. "I think," he said delicately, "that purr-haps I have done you a great disservice, Prrincess."

Marinette went cold. "...How do you figure?" she asked quietly.

"It was never my intention to make you fall for me," he admitted, looking away guiltily, "even as much as I wish it. You deserve someone that you can walk with in the sunlight, milady. Not a shifty rogue in the night. That is no way to live. No way to love. It would be best for you if I simply removed myself from your-"

"Stop." Chat did, blinking as he took in the girl's infuriated expression.

"No. You don't get to decide that sort of thing for me," Marinette spoke, her eyes blazing with heat. "I like you, Chat Noir. It sounds like you like me, too. I don't have a problem with what we're doing. So why can't we continue like this?"

"But it's not fair to you-"

"I don't see it that way," she said with a shake of her head.

"Well, then it's not fair to _me,_ " Chat snapped, losing his suave edge.

Marinette blinked and then regarded him carefully. "Why?" she asked softly. Carefully, she put a hand over his, giving it a faint squeeze. "Chat? What are you afraid of?"

Sullen and miserable, he squeezed her hand back. Then he raised both clawed hands and tenderly cupped her face, making her cheeks heat and her heart thunder against her chest. "I love you," he whispered, never realizing just how _long_ she'd desperately wished to hear those three little words. "I love you with all my soul, Marinette," he murmured, pressing his cheek to rest against her temple. "I want to spend every waking minute with you. ...But I'm afraid of losing you. I can't have you and then lose you. My heart wouldn't be able to bear it."

"You're not going to lose me," she swore softly.

Chat let out a faint snort of disbelief.

"You're _not,_ " she insisted, her hands coming up to gently grip his wrists. She looked upwards into his eyes, trying to make him _see._ Maybe she sounded insincere, since this was only Marinette's third time meeting the cat, but _Ladybug_ had known him since the beginning. She was his forever, even though he didn't know it.

Swallowing hard, she held her chin up and said calmly, even though every nerve was fraught with terror, "You're my _person_ , Kit-Kat. I'll always be there for you. No matter what."

Chat Noir started violently as if he'd been slapped. Then after a long moment, as the realization began to dawn, he said incredulously, " _Clumsy Girl?"_

There was no adoration in his voice. No love. The loss of which made Marinette's heart shatter. "Y-yeah, it's me," she said, trying to smile even as her eyes began to water. "And I love you too, you silly cat. I've been in love with you forever. S-so don't get any funny ideas in your head that I'm going anywhere. I'm in it for the long haul."

However, Chat only stared at her wide eyed, his face drained of blood. "I..." he started, pulling away little by little, "I think I need to go."

" _Chaton,"_ Marinette cried, tears trailing down her cheeks. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that one boy would make her cry this much.

"Kl-Klutz, don't-" the black cat said, before he reconsidered the nickname, "Mari, _please_ don't cry." He cupped her face, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. It didn't matter as fresh ones made their way down her cheeks. "Please don't cry. I can't stand to see you cry."

"Then why are you _leaving?_ " she sobbed, "I thought you _loved_ me."

"I-" Chat said helplessly, his eyes wide. "I-I'm so sorry. I just need to think for a little while. That's all, Mari." He hesitated, but then pressed a chaste kiss to her brow. "I'll be back. I _swear._ Then we can talk and we can sort this whole thing out. Okay?"

Marinette sniffled, her face wrung out in her misery. "You promise?"

"Cat's honor," Chat swore, holding a hand to his heart.

Marinette let out a wet laugh. "There's no such thing, you doof."

The black cat smiled weakly at the inside joke. "You know there is, Bugaboo." He pulled her in close to him in a desperate hug. She squeezed back with all her might, as if she let go she might lose him forever.

Then he was gone, off to wherever he called his kitty lair.

Marinette slumped back onto the bed, all of her energy completely drained. Tikki came out from her hiding spot, her blue eyes aching with sympathy. "Oh _Marinette_ ," she spoke softly, gently brushing her hair as her chosen curled up in bed and cried herself empty.

~o~

The next morning, Sabine took one look at her child and decided that there was absolutely no way she was fit for school. So for one blessed day, Marinette didn't have to worry about thinking about anything, while her loving parents each took shifts to check in on her during the day.

The day after, Marinette braved the short trek to school. Every part of her ached, worn out and miserable. Her head was thick from too much sleep and too much crying. All she wanted to do was _stop_ thinking about Chat Noir for a while and hang out with her friends.

"Oh Marinette~ What's the matter? Did someone piss in your cereal this morning?" someone taunted over the courtyard.

Oh. _Great_. Chloe.

In no mood to deal with the mean bitch today, Marinette tried to sidestep her. However, her blond archnemesis seemed to sense that she was in a vulnerable state, ripe for vengeance. "Oh, what's wrong, little girl? Did someone _dump_ you?" she demanded, with an intuitiveness that was unnatural. When Marinette winced, she cackled gleefully. "Oh someone did! Honestly, are you even surprised? Who would be interested in a little _drab_ thing like you?"

"Don't you _dare_ , Chloe!" a voice snapped. Marinette looked up to her rescuer and was stunned to see none other than Adrien Agreste glaring down the queen bee with fire in his eyes and fists at his sides. She wasn't the only one stunned, when Chloe simply stared at the model incredulously for saying a single sharp word against her. Adrien took the opportunity to grab Marinette by the shoulders and push past them towards their classroom.

Once they were alone, Adrien turned to her and asked in a quiet voice, "A-are you okay?"

Marinette started to nod a little. Then she changed her mind and shook her head. "No," she said in a thick, wet voice. "No, I'm not okay." Unbeckoned, tears began to shed again and she hiccuped as she tried to stifle her sobs.

Adrien stared at her wide eyed, looking as lost and helpless as she felt. Without a word, he suddenly pulled her into a hug. The sudden shock of it made her impending cryfest a non-starter, as she was wrapped up in an embrace that was unexpectedly strong and protective. Strangely, her mind flashed back to a day weeks ago, when he looked down at her with a wicked smirk and eyes that shone with delight.

" _Just enjoying the view."_

"It's gonna be okay," he promised quietly in her ear, so firmly that Marinette almost believed him.

However, when he finally released her, whatever daring that held him up so far seemed to shrivel up like water in the desert. His face radiated with a heated blush and he seemed to shrink back into the impossibly shy and heartbreakingly damaged Pretty Boy that she always knew.

"Adri-" she started, reaching out for him, but the model was already bolting away. Marinette sighed. But then she smiled and wiped away her tears on her sleeve. If Pretty Boy could have a moment of bravery when it was needed, so could she. She made a fist against her heart as if to steel it, then walked into the classroom to face the rest of the day.


	4. Act 2, Scene 3

Chat Noir came back to Marinette's balcony two nights later.

Technically, they should have met a day earlier for their usual patrol. However, when Crazy- _Lady_ bug didn't show that night, Chat didn't call her out on playing hooky like he normally would. Instead, all he did was take a small detour to make sure that she was okay at home, before he proceeded with patrol on his own. He didn't blame her for wanting to avoid him. He wasn't exactly ready to face her at the time either.

Tonight was long enough. He did promise that he would be back after all and he only stayed away for as long as his guilty conscience would allow. Everything was still muddled in his mind, but he could only hope that talking with Marinette would help sort things out.

His nerves alight with a very _Agreste_ type of anxiety, he gently knocked on the hatch door. And waited.

After several excruciating eternal seconds, the hatch door creaked open and a pair of bluebell eyes peered out. "Good evening, Prrincess," he purred, sweeping into a bow.

"Don't you mean Klutz?" Marinette's voice sounded sharply from the crack. Chat winced.

"I, erm... might _retire_ that nickname," he admitted. A pause. "...Do you want me to leave?"

A weary sigh sounded from the door. " _No_..." Marinette replied, pushing the hatch open fully. She held herself cautiously. So much so that Chat kept his hands to himself, lest she shatter. She folded her arms over her chest, looking him up and down. "So, are you done thinking?"

 _I wish._

"I'm sorry, Mari," Chat replied, every bit of him radiating with guilt. "I wish I didn't have to leave you like that. I was just having a difficult time reconciling you and Ladybug into one person. You see, the problem was that I always saw Ladybug as... as um..." he hesitated, "sort of as a sister."

Marinette cringed, her entire body expressing it as she stiffened up. Before she could say anything, he quickly jumped in, waving his hands, "But that's okay! I sorted that part out! I promise! I-I mean, we're _not_ siblings and you obviously don't think of me as a brother." He worried his lip, his cheeks heating as he said softly, "I was just completely blinded by... by _you_."

The tension slowly eased from Marinette, her eyes widening. "By me?" she echoed, a pretty blush coming to her cheeks that made Chat want to kiss her.

He nodded, his lips spreading into a small smile. "You _are_ quite enchanting, milady," he said softly. Testing the waters, he gingerly took her hand and pressed a small kiss to her knuckles. She smiled sweetly and he felt his heart swell at the sight of it. God, he _was_ in love with this girl.

Both hands clasped hers and he held her delicate fingers to his lips. He sucked in a long breath, closing his eyes as he tried to stay in this moment forever. Before he ruined everything. Then, he spoke:

"I still don't know if this is going to work."

Her hand tensed in his, but she didn't pull away. After a long moment, she asked quietly, "Why not, Chaton?"

Chat peeked up at her. She didn't look mad, but concerned and a little weary. He swallowed. "I'm not as brave as you are," he admitted, squeezing her hand tighter. "I... I _can't_ show you who I am. Not right now. Honestly, I don't know when I'll ever be ready."

Instead of tensing up again, Marinette relaxed. "What?" she laughed. "Is that _all_ , Kit-Kat?"

... _Wait. What?_

Chat blinked, more than a little confused. "Wh-what do you mean, is that _all?_ " he demanded, getting outraged for her sake. "You already revealed yourself to me and I can't do the same! That- That is _hardly_ any kind of relationship!"

However, Marinette shook her head, grinning wide. "I don't care," she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "I was already in love with you for ages, you silly cat. I didn't know who you were then either. What makes this any different?"

"But I know who _you_ are!"

"Yes, and that was my choice to reveal myself," she replied. "I don't expect you to do the same, Chaton. That's hardly fair."

Chat's jaw dropped. "Wha- tha- I can't possibly think of anything _more_ fair than that!" he cried, utterly flabbergasted. "For Pete's sake, what are you going to do if I decide I never want to reveal myself?!"

"Invest in cat toys?" Marinette suggested, her lips quirking into a sly grin. She outright laughed when Chat sputtered unintelligibly, putting a stop to it by patting the top of his head. "You're worrying too much about this, Kit-Kat," she teased, her eyes sparkling at the way his face effused with a bright blush. "I'll take you any way you're comfortable with. Even if it means I have to leave my hatch door open until I'm 60. After that, I'll have to insist that you come through the window, because I'll probably have bad hips at that point. All that akuma fighting you know."

Chat stared at her. "You're crazy," he said incredulously. "Absolutely _certifiable._ "

"Well, isn't that why you call me CrazyBug?" Marinette grinned, seeing the light ahead of the tunnel. She put a hand to his cheek and added fondly, "And I'm crazy in love with you."

Well. There really wasn't anything else he could say to that.

Chat Noir slowly shook his head, feeling all resistance give way to Marinette's sheer stubbornness. His lips spread into a smile as he threw his clawed hands up in the air. "Alright. _Fine._ You win, milady," he sighed with a helpless shrug. "Whatever shall I do with you?"

"I think I have a few ideas," Marinette replied with a wicked smile. He didn't have a chance. She tugged on his bell and yanked him down into her bedroom, shutting the hatch door closed behind them.

~o~

Adrien walked in class with the stupidest, goofiest grin that could ever be seen on any fifteen-year-old's face.

Nino raised an eyebrow as he took in his friend as he sat down next to him. "Uh... something good happen?"

"You could say that," the model replied lightly, giving the DJ a wink.

Nino's jaw dropped. His eyes flicked back to Marinette's empty seat, before they snapped back to Adrien again. " _No,_ " he gasped, "you _didn't."_

Before Adrien could respond, the classroom door burst open and Marinette twirled into the room. "Good morning everyone~!" she cried gaily, looking for all the world like a fairy walking on air. "How are we all this fabulous morning~!" Earning herself quite a few stares, she floated over to Nino and Adrien's desk with a basket of pastries slung on her arm. "Good morning boys!" she beamed at them.

The full force of her smile was too much for him in Adrien-mode. At once, the model's semi-automatic babbling/panic response mode set in. "G-g-good Marinette morning!" he stammered. "I-I-I mean, morgood Mari! GoomoriMari!"

"Aw, you're cute~ Have a cookie, Pretty Boy" Marinette gushed, before she summarily shoved a chocolate chip cookie into his mouth. "Cookies for everyone~!" she declared, going around to each classmate and passing off pastries to them whether they wanted them or not.

Nino gave cookie-mouthed Adrien an unimpressed look. "You didn't, did you," he said flatly.

Sighing in resignation, Adrien hung his head in defeat. "No," he lied. Glancing back at his secret girlfriend, he bit off the cookie and chewed it.

 _One day,_ he decided. One day, he was going to graduate to talking to Mari in coherent and complete sentences, to carrying on a conversation, to _joking_ with and teasing her. He _would,_ even if it took him thirty years to do it.

Boy, was Marinette in for a surprise when that day came.


End file.
